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Shear Madness

Shear Madness

Darryl Forman

Poodles and mixed-offspring are taking over the world. You can’t walk half a block without tripping over a Schnoodle, Cockapoo or Goldendoodle, or slipping on  Maltepoo poo or Bernedoodle doo .  There are obvious reasons why wethepoodlepeople love our pups. Whether they were pre-owned – like my Romo, who is an unintentional ¾ poodle and ¼ Bichon Frise mix, or they may have been bought new, they are wonderful pets. 

Poodles are the second-smartest dogs, just below Border collies, according to people who test such things. It’s said that you can almost see poodles think. I watched my Romo figure out how to move not just through a stationary hoop, but through a moving one. At first she refused to do it, but after watching it for a few moments, 

She leapt like the circus dog she was meant to be. Whether circus, service, therapy, or just plain wonderful, there is one thing all these doodles need to do. . .  and that’s get groomed.

I learned early on that I couldn’t spell groom without r-o-m-o.  I love it when her black and white dog-fro gets Angela Davis-big, but she attracts more shmutz than a new Swiffer mop.  I am happy with the groomers we use, but thought a mobile groomer might work better during the pandemic. Kind of like grooming–in-place. 

The groomer had some new-age name that I couldn’t understand through her mask. I told her I wanted Romo’s hair to be real short, except for the flounce on her tail and her little puppy ears. 

Be careful what you ask for. An hour later, the new-ager texted me and I went to get the princess. After we had a contact-less exchange of card, she opened the van door and out popped a pup who looked so different that I thought it wasn’t my Romo. She looked like a Chihuahua and a hairless toy poodle had mated, and it was clear why Poohuahuas never became popular. 

I couldn’t stop laughing. I’d always said that Romo was so cute that she could never get a bad hair-cut, but this was the worst Doodle ‘do ever. Even I was embarrassed for her.

The day after her shearing, the temperature in usually mild San Francisco reached triple digits. I knew Romo was lots more comfortable with her short hair and this helped to mitigate my previous day’s thoughts that I had been a bad dog mom.  As to Romo, this is a dog that hoovers the floor for food bits and then licks her nose or toes or you know. That said, there’s no embarrassment emoji in her dog world.